Interracial & Intercultural Couples Therapy in California
You chose each other across different cultures, families, and histories. That can be a source of real richness, and also of fights that aren't really about the dishes. Couples therapy that takes both of your worlds seriously, online anywhere in California.
Two People, Two Worlds, One Relationship
In an intercultural relationship, you're not only blending two personalities. You're blending two sets of family rules, unspoken expectations, and ideas about what love, respect, and loyalty look like. Many of those rules are so familiar that neither of you noticed them until they collided.
As a second-generation Filipino American therapist, I know what it's like to live between cultures. In our work, neither culture is the default and neither partner is the problem. We make room for both.
I work with
- Interracial couples
- Couples from different countries, cultures, or languages
- A child of immigrants with a partner whose family has been here for generations
- Partners from different Asian backgrounds
- Interfaith couples
- Couples whose families don't fully accept the relationship
Where Cultures Tend to Collide
Every couple is different, but these themes come up often. None of them mean the relationship is wrong. They mean you're both carrying something important.
Parents and in-laws
Different ideas about how involved family should be, who gets a say in big decisions, and what you owe your parents as they age.
Family obligation and money
Sending money home, supporting siblings, or living near family can feel like love to one of you and like a burden to the other.
How you show love
One of you says it out loud; the other shows it through food, acts of service, or showing up. Both can end up feeling unloved.
Conflict styles
Direct versus indirect, loud versus quiet, talk it out now versus let it cool. Neither is wrong, but the mismatch hurts.
Race and the outside world
Microaggressions, racism, or feeling unseen, and whether your partner understands what it's like to carry that.
Raising children between cultures
Language, traditions, religion, discipline, and which parts of each family's culture you want to pass down.
If family expectations are the hardest part, I've written more about navigating in-laws as an intercultural couple, including what to say when the pressure builds.
Understanding the Cycle, Honoring the Cultures
My couples work is led by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which helps you see the emotional cycle you get stuck in, and the needs for closeness and respect underneath it. I've also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method, which adds practical tools for raising hard topics, managing conflict, and repairing afterward.
With intercultural couples, I add one more layer: helping each of you put words to the cultural meaning behind your reactions. When “you never call my mom” is really about loyalty and belonging, and “we can't afford to keep sending money” is really about safety, the conversation can change.
Sessions are online by secure video for couples located anywhere in California. More about couples therapy.
Cost & Insurance
Couples sessions are $200 for 50 minutes. Coverage for couples therapy varies from plan to plan, and many couples choose to pay privately. Superbills are available for out-of-network benefits.
Fees & insurance detailsQuestions From Intercultural Couples
Common questions about couples therapy across cultures
No. I work with interracial and intercultural couples of all backgrounds. My own experience as a second-generation Filipino American shapes how I listen, but what matters most is that both of your cultures and families are taken seriously.
No. My job is to help both of you feel understood. Neither culture is the “right” one, and neither partner is the problem. We look at the cycle you get caught in together and the meaning each of you brings to it.
Yes. Family disapproval puts real strain on a couple. We can work on how you support each other, how you set boundaries with family as a team, and how each of you handles the grief or guilt that can come with it.
My couples work is led by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and I've also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method. EFT helps you understand the emotional cycle beneath your conflict; Gottman tools add practical structure for difficult conversations and repair.
Yes, as long as you're both located in California during sessions. All sessions are held by secure video, and partners can join from the same room or from separate locations.
Couples sessions are $200 for 50 minutes. I'm in-network with Aetna, Anthem Blue Cross, Blue Shield of California, Carelon Behavioral Health and Cigna / Evernorth, but coverage for couples therapy varies, and many couples choose to pay privately. Superbills are available for out-of-network reimbursement.
The Pearly TherapyYour relationship can hold both of your worlds.
Book a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what's happening between you and whether we're a good fit.
Book a Free Consultation